Staying Alive.
"You have committed a crime today."
"Sir.."
"What were we discussing now?"
"I dont know Sir."
"Why?"
"Sir, I dozed off."
Introducing to you, Section D's new sleep(ing) manager, Ravi.
The man, the superhuman, the dude who had the temerity to drift off in one of the most unlikeliest classes - HR. (Refer to my earlier post to get an idea of how an HR class is like.)
Ravi sits in one of the corners of the C shaped benches, comfortably away from the professor's view most of the times. Most.
If you ever feel sleepy in a class, which I assure you, you will, just take a look at Ravi. Watch his eyes and forehead play tug of war, each trying to drag the eyebrows towards itself. Often his neck enters the picture, tilting his head almost onto the shoulders of the lady TA who would sit next to him. You'd stop feeling sleepy and start laughing.
This is, I guess, one of his responsibilities as the sleep manager. The other responsibility is probably to divert the attention of the professor by getting caught often and in the process save all the others who might be drifting off. We're still working on the list.
These are the kind of things which keep the people here inches away from the tempting grasp of insanity.
When your batchmates have all been toppers or outstanding achievers all their lives, you know you are gonna find the competition getting to you. You might have been a topper yourself all your life, but there's every chance that you fail here.
A lot of people face a rude reality check in their first few weeks in IIM Ahmedabad. Going through such a phase is not easy. It will leave your self esteem humbled and your ego shattered. But thats okay. Only when you get depressed and feel like giving up, you have a problem.
We had 4 surprise quizzes this week. When I returned to my dorm after the first quiz the situation was something like this.
Oka: Arey O Samba ! How did the test go ?
Samba: I have to tell you this man !
Oka: What happened?
Samba: I knew that there would be a quiz today. I prepared hard and I wrote every damn thing that was asked. I mean, I predicted that there would be a quiz today.
Oka: Hey, thats cool man. Good for you !
The day I had the second quiz, the conversation went something like this.
Oka: Samba dude. How did it go ?
Samba: My prediction tool is awesome man !
Oka: Oh, you predicted this quiz as well ?
Samba: You bet ! Tell you what, I am gonna make this prediction tool and sell it for $1000 a package. Our dorm mates could have it for free, as part of dorm loyalty.
Oka: Ha ha. So you cracked it today as well, huh ?
Samba: Ummm, I just predicted that there would be a test. I didnt prepare for it. I told my group mate. He prepared for it and cracked it out of shape.
Oka: Ohh.
Samba: But who cares man. I have a prediction tool which works !
So long as we all are happy.
After the third surprise quiz, as usual I asked Samba.
Oka: Hey, did you predict the quiz today ?
Samba: Shit man, I have a small correction to make in the tool. I wrongly assumed that if there's no class of a particular subject on a particular day, there wouldnt be a quiz on it the same day. I have to add an extra constraint to my tool now.
Oka: Hmm. I see.
On Friday, during the final class of the day, when we were fidgeting in our seats waiting for the professor to finish and usher in the much awaited weekend, we realised that there was going to be yet another surprise quiz.
By now, comfortably numb to such surprises, (Indeed, its not a surprise quiz if you are gonna have it every day) we had little trouble in giving the quiz, flunking it and forgetting all about it.
I return to my dorm to find Samba lying half naked in his room (representing the weekend freedom perhaps), reading the newspaper.
Oka: Hey... you are all dressed up. Whats up man ?
Samba: (reading from the newspaper) London stands united. It takes a bomb for these people to be united. Assholes.
Oka: Bomb in London ? What are you saying ? When was this ?
Samba: A couple of days back. Terrorists blew up the subway. A dozen dead and a lot many hurt.
Oka: Is it Al-Qaeda ?
Samba: Who else?
Oka: Man, we should hire them to drop a bomb over this place.
Samba: I doubt if it would make too much difference. Profs would still hold quizzes among ruins.
Oka: Right. Forget it all man. (I turned to go back to my room)
"Sir.."
"What were we discussing now?"
"I dont know Sir."
"Why?"
"Sir, I dozed off."
Introducing to you, Section D's new sleep(ing) manager, Ravi.
The man, the superhuman, the dude who had the temerity to drift off in one of the most unlikeliest classes - HR. (Refer to my earlier post to get an idea of how an HR class is like.)
Ravi sits in one of the corners of the C shaped benches, comfortably away from the professor's view most of the times. Most.
If you ever feel sleepy in a class, which I assure you, you will, just take a look at Ravi. Watch his eyes and forehead play tug of war, each trying to drag the eyebrows towards itself. Often his neck enters the picture, tilting his head almost onto the shoulders of the lady TA who would sit next to him. You'd stop feeling sleepy and start laughing.
This is, I guess, one of his responsibilities as the sleep manager. The other responsibility is probably to divert the attention of the professor by getting caught often and in the process save all the others who might be drifting off. We're still working on the list.
These are the kind of things which keep the people here inches away from the tempting grasp of insanity.
When your batchmates have all been toppers or outstanding achievers all their lives, you know you are gonna find the competition getting to you. You might have been a topper yourself all your life, but there's every chance that you fail here.
A lot of people face a rude reality check in their first few weeks in IIM Ahmedabad. Going through such a phase is not easy. It will leave your self esteem humbled and your ego shattered. But thats okay. Only when you get depressed and feel like giving up, you have a problem.
We had 4 surprise quizzes this week. When I returned to my dorm after the first quiz the situation was something like this.
Oka: Arey O Samba ! How did the test go ?
Samba: I have to tell you this man !
Oka: What happened?
Samba: I knew that there would be a quiz today. I prepared hard and I wrote every damn thing that was asked. I mean, I predicted that there would be a quiz today.
Oka: Hey, thats cool man. Good for you !
The day I had the second quiz, the conversation went something like this.
Oka: Samba dude. How did it go ?
Samba: My prediction tool is awesome man !
Oka: Oh, you predicted this quiz as well ?
Samba: You bet ! Tell you what, I am gonna make this prediction tool and sell it for $1000 a package. Our dorm mates could have it for free, as part of dorm loyalty.
Oka: Ha ha. So you cracked it today as well, huh ?
Samba: Ummm, I just predicted that there would be a test. I didnt prepare for it. I told my group mate. He prepared for it and cracked it out of shape.
Oka: Ohh.
Samba: But who cares man. I have a prediction tool which works !
So long as we all are happy.
After the third surprise quiz, as usual I asked Samba.
Oka: Hey, did you predict the quiz today ?
Samba: Shit man, I have a small correction to make in the tool. I wrongly assumed that if there's no class of a particular subject on a particular day, there wouldnt be a quiz on it the same day. I have to add an extra constraint to my tool now.
Oka: Hmm. I see.
On Friday, during the final class of the day, when we were fidgeting in our seats waiting for the professor to finish and usher in the much awaited weekend, we realised that there was going to be yet another surprise quiz.
By now, comfortably numb to such surprises, (Indeed, its not a surprise quiz if you are gonna have it every day) we had little trouble in giving the quiz, flunking it and forgetting all about it.
I return to my dorm to find Samba lying half naked in his room (representing the weekend freedom perhaps), reading the newspaper.
Oka: Hey... you are all dressed up. Whats up man ?
Samba: (reading from the newspaper) London stands united. It takes a bomb for these people to be united. Assholes.
Oka: Bomb in London ? What are you saying ? When was this ?
Samba: A couple of days back. Terrorists blew up the subway. A dozen dead and a lot many hurt.
Oka: Is it Al-Qaeda ?
Samba: Who else?
Oka: Man, we should hire them to drop a bomb over this place.
Samba: I doubt if it would make too much difference. Profs would still hold quizzes among ruins.
Oka: Right. Forget it all man. (I turned to go back to my room)
Oka: (turning back to him) Hey, what happened to the quiz? How did the prediction go?
Samba: Fuck the prediction tool. And fuck the quiz. I am gonna sleep.
Oka: Right. I am gonna go blog.
I clicked opened the lock on the door and entered my room. I turned towards a paper I had pinned up on the wall, and put a cross on it. The third one in a row.
Three weeks over.
I am still alive.
posted by Oka the irrepressible at
5:11 PM
15 Comments:
sleep(ing) manager..:-)
hmm...that wud ensure Ravi's social life takes off..if he can keep his eyes open i.e...
N dude gr8 to know someone else managed to screw up the quizzes as bad as i did
By
Anonymous, at 9:54 PM
"sexy TA " - wud suggest we use some discretion here..
By
Anonymous, at 9:58 PM
Advice taken. Thanks.
By
Oka the irrepressible, at 10:00 PM
Good one, Tattu. Its getting better...reminds me of my fachha days :)
By
Anonymous, at 1:21 AM
Ahem.. 'sexy TA'?
And I owe Ravi a great debt of gratitude. The fact that he sleeps more than me ensures that I don't get caught when I doze off!
I intend to soon make a bid for the post of Sleep Manager. I was awake and conscious for exactly 45 out of 210 minutes worth of class!
Just 8 weeks to the end of the first term...
By
AC, at 2:55 AM
Good posts Oka! I expect more posts from u!!!! Keep up the enthu and good to know u r still alive:)
By
Lucas, at 8:49 AM
Man this is fun. We get to live your life minus the quizzes and the rest of the shit. :) Eaaeexxcellent. (twiddling fingers)
By
The Tobacconist, at 10:15 AM
Hey, Blog more often. Where else do I get to read lines like "These are the kind of things which keep the people here inches away from the tempting grasp of insanity."
I certainly pity you fachhas though.
By
Anonymous, at 4:41 PM
awesome man.. loved every bit of it..
By
Girish, at 12:49 AM
too good f****ker.... need ur mail id.. which u use
By
NeoBhavin, at 3:05 PM
CARRY ON F****KER..... neeed ur mail id toooo...reply
By
NeoBhavin, at 3:06 PM
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
By
DiVa, at 9:11 PM
nice blog.. but please pick your topics carefully... you know what i mean...carry on blogging... --A 3.
By
Anonymous, at 11:31 AM
An IIMA student’s dream
http://sleepless-in-iima.blogspot.com/2005/11/iim-students-dream.html
The most important event in the second term occurs right after the mid terms - the summer placements. Now, summer placements might not have been such a big deal, if only there hadnt been a thing called as an I-bank. I-banks or investment banks, for the uninitiated, are organizations which facilitate IPO issues, mergers and acquisitions, and trading for institutional clients. And in the process they make insane amounts of money. They also pay their employees insane amounts of money. I probably dont have to mention that all those record breaking salaries offered to IIM-A grads that you read about in the papers are all by I-banks. To begin explaining to you, the effect these banks have on the IIM-A psyche, let me start with the way placements are structured in IIM-A. There are hundreds of companies which come on campus for the summer placements. To let the students pick the best companies and let the best companies have a shot at the largest pool of students first, the placement committee of IIM-A (placecomm) has, over the years, divided the list of companies into two or three categories and allotted them slots during which they could interact with and interview the students.
..We can still hope to place everyone." "Yes. Lets hope." Bharthi's cell rang and she moved to answer the call.Immediately after that, she yelled out a few names - her voice barely audible over the din in the room.
...He looked around CR-10. 200 people impeccably dressed in suits. Some of them joking around, some smiling with satisfaction, some others in a pensive mood, and some with a worried expression. The tension in the room wafted through the noise into the atmosphere...
Information Asymmetry is a concept encountered in microeconomics. It refers to the situation when one party knows more than the other party about a product being transacted. For instance, a person who purchases life insurance would be better informed about his health than his insurance agent. Needless to say, it is in the insurance company's interest to do as much as possible in order to reduce the information gap. When the final placements happen, companies have an important number to base their selections on - the CGPA. But when the recruitments for summers happen, the number's not known yet, or the time period is too short for someone to be judged purely by the CGPA. In such a situation, various factors play a role in deciding a candidate's suitability for the job, one of which is the student's past profile. As far as the students are concerned, a summer internship in an i-bank means bypassing one and half years of hard-core,maddening competition to secure an i-banking career abroad. Its a short cut.
..."People, please be quiet", Bharthi's voice tried to make its presence felt in the noise. "The offer window opens now. I am gonna announce the names." In a second, silence enveloped the room. This was the moment people were waiting for - the announcement of the final offers."Rajshree Dutta..." One by one names were announced to heavy thumping of desks. The smiling student went to the adjacent room where documents had to be signed. As time went by, tension grew in all those faces whose names havent been announced yet. Will I be pushed to Day 1? Do I have to go through this stressful process again tomorrow? That was the thought uppermost in everyone's minds. And when their names finally came, a huge wave of relief washed away the anxiety. When the last name was announced, a roar went around the room. The celebrations began...
The number of I-banks coming down to IIM-A has grown in the last few years, and a lot of "bulge-bracket" banks come down these days. Banks like Lehmann Brothers, Merrill Lynch, Goldman Sachs, JP Morgan and Citigroup are usually expected to hire IIM-A students for summers. Its funny how almost everyone on campus is suddenly interested in finance. The amount of preparation that goes into a day zero interview simply cannot be described here. (It would go into my book though). There is however a sad angle to this. There are over 200 deserving students here IIM-A and the number of such offers are less than a half of that. A lot of people are left out. Its tragic to see people attach so much importance to Day Zero that they are shattered when they dont make it to these jobs. Some of them are hit so hard that they are not able to muster the strength to continue with the stressful placement process and lose out on jobs on offer the next day. People change their perceptions about others. Seeds of bitterness are sown.
"I dont understand why people get depressed when they dont make it into Day Zero companies. There are some terrific companies coming down for Day 1. The kind of roles they offer are extremely exciting. Did you look at the pay most of these companies are offering? They are awesome. And it can only get better. There would come a day when students of IIM-A would reject foreign i-bank offers for jobs in India. There'd be a day when every IIM-A graduate would decide to stay back and contribute to India. There'd be a day when foreign i-banks would be relegated to Day 1. Ten years down the line, we're gonna see it happen. Damn, its been happening around us as we speak. Indian companies are flexing their muscles abroad by acquiring companies left and right. They are taking over foreign companies which are as much as three times their size. Indians are shaping the corporate world all by themselves. Take this to its logical conclusion, and you'd see that India is as good a place to be in as any." - Ashwin.
...A hundred hands slapped him on his back. "Good show man !" "Congrats, dude !" Smiling, he went to the other room. A bunch of placecommers were sitting around the placecomm head. The placecomm head looked at a sheet of paper and said "Kotak. Do you accept?" "Yes, I do." A placecommer came to him with a sheet of paper. She gestured at a spot and asked him to sign there. As he took the sheet from her, he smiled at her. "I guess, with me, everyone's been placed on day zero." "Yes. Its been a great year." "What about all the companies which are coming tomorrow?" "I am afraid, we'll have to turn them down. There just are no students left for those jobs." "Just for curiosity sake, what are the companies that are coming down tomorrow?" "Oh, all those foreign I-banks. Foreign placements are out of fashion these days. I guess, they wouldnt be coming down next year onwards." "Hmm." he said. He looked down at the sheet, scribbled his signature and under it, the date. read, "10th November, 2015".
By
Anonymous, at 12:36 PM
You Fachhas are lucky.....
We survived eight surprise quizes in a row....!
it's true, ruins cannot stop them of these quizes... :(
anyways miss WIMWI now....
By
Anonymous, at 11:33 PM
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