What's in a name ?

A lot, trust me.
People aint getting names for nuthin.

But whatever a name may mean in the big good world outside, in IIM-A, a name has a specific meaning. To be more precise, your name is a giveaway to the kind of fantasies you have.

A week after the fresh batch arrives, the dorm seniors hold sessions wherein freshers are expected to let go and express (and in some cases unleash) their fantasies.

Now I am not gonna go into the specifics but the point is, your new dorm name would be picked up from your own words while you narrate your fantasy, and from the ideas it puts into the seniors' heads.

Look at whats at stake here. Your dorm name is unlike your ordinary nickname which people have fun using for a while, and get bored of, a little later. It might very well end up sticking to you for life. You think Vindi is Mr. Banga's first name? This is serious stuff, dude.

To add to the stakes, there are no standard rules for naming people. There are normal names like Billu, Champi, Gattu and then there are interesting names like Noodle, Kela, Tinkle. Then there are umm.. different names like Orgy, Dildo, Mayir Singh (Mayir is a Tamil word for hair - hair not on the head) .

How would you like it if you are christened Dildo, and are unfortunate enough to become famous later on in life ? I mean, I would give anything to see the faces of businessmen reading headlines like "Dildo shakes up the industry by signing a $10 million deal", "Dildo brings smiles to the 3 million shareholders", "Dildo indispensable, if Lehmann is to survive" etc.

Needless to say, no one understood the importance of caution on the day of the fantasy session better than me. I carefully constructed a fantasy involving enough fun and action, but avoiding all the words which might not fit in well between my first and last names.

For some reason, I wanted to be named ghoda (Horse in Hindi). I dont know why, maybe thats the best name I could come up with in the short time I made up my fantasy.

But yeah, I thought it was a pretty macho name, considering that ghoda might also refer to a revolver. Crack shot, eh? Or bring into the picture my dark skin and I could be a dark horse. Cool possibilities man.

Suitably excited, I cautiously narrated my fantasy, emphasizing the scenes where I am riding a magnificient horse (no pun intended here). With as much effort as I would have put into a public speech, I delivered my narrative perfectly according to the plan. After it was over, I sat back satisfied, enjoying the others' narratives and laughing at the dirty little words they let slip by mistake, only to be pounced upon with glee by the seniors.

I wasnt wrong about the importance of not saying something stupid. A couple of days later, in the naming session, one guy was named Softie. Now its upto your discretion to decide whats soft.

Yet another was named Maasik, a hindi reference to periods. Please note that I am not talking about time here. Another guy was named Garmi (Hindi for heat). Yet another name was Pumper.

When my turn came, I was more or less assured that my name would definitely have something to do with a horse.

"Karthik Laxman. His fantasy involved him riding a dark horse, and ambushing a couple..." the dorm rep spoke out.

I had already begun to visualize a tall muscular dark horse, galloping away towards the horizon, its magnificient mane dancing to the tunes of the wind.

"We thought we could name him ghoda.."

The dark horse throws his head and utters a triumphant neigh, drawing awestruck glances from the other species.

"But we thought that the name didnt suit his personality..."

The horse freezes mid-neigh. Wait a minute. What the...

"So we decided on the name Tattu." (Hindi for pony).

fuck !

My tall, muscular, neighing, dark horse suddenly shrunk to a pale, shivering pony. Gone were the muscles. Gone was the splendid mane. The frightened creature tottered to its feet and let out a little yelp.